I have always been a dreamer. Ever since I could remember, I have been in one moment but thinking about the next one and picturing it to be better even if the present moment was great. It is a bit crippling at times and I have failed to be present and enjoy way too many moments.
Some of my many dreams include staying home, starting a nonprofit, helfping families who really want to homeschool but think they can’t, starting an educational center that is nothing like traditional public school, oh and one more…MOVE OUT OF THE SNOW!!!! I have been dreaming of moving south for so long. Blame it on social media. Blame on travel magazines. Blame it on my parents who spoiled me by taking me to Florida for spring break every year. No matter who or what I blame, I have had a plan to leave this sun forsaken state that looks like a mitten and implies cold. I have a Pinterest board devoted to my favorite states and places I want to live. Realtor.com and Livability.com and I are Friday night friends. The amount of time I have wasted pouting about why I am not packing, looking for out of state jobs or otherwise already living in my new sunshine happiness with community pool is just that…a total waste. I am not saying it is wasteful to dream. The Bible says a lot about having goals and dreams, but when our dreams outshine our current reality to the point we can’t find any happiness where we are, then my friend (who I happen to be looking at in the mirror) that means it is time for a heart check.
The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. And the poet, Langston Hughes asks the question, “What happens to a dream deferred?” Both reference a sickness. A festering sore. And that is exactly what was happening to me. My deferred hopes and dreams were making me miss the beauty in my current moment. When you are married or a parent, the dreams you dream need to benefit far more than self, and the time you have to devote to anything at all is a precious commodity. So if I wanted my home to be happy, I needed to start to focus my thinking and time where it mattered most….the moment before me in the place God had planted my feet right here in Michigan. My time needed to be spent wisely in pursuit of the dreams God wanted me to focus on right now, not later. For me that is a strong and healthy family, and teaching and loving on the big and little people He has put in my everyday life. These dreams are tangible right now. These fulfilled dreams are becoming a tree of life for me and my family and the sun that shines through the Michigan clouds..
In part 2, I will tell about how I am learning (notice I said learning) to change my pouting to planting. It’s not easy at all for a person like me and I struggle daily. But there is no growth without change and I know God is changing me into someone better than I was yesterday. No more pouting. Fulfill the dream of today. High five for home!
Have you been spending too many moments pouting instead of planting? Have you already overcome this obstacle in your life? Encourage someone (or me) in the comments.