Once upon a time, I had it together-ish….then I became Sweet V’s mom. It was the beginning of my personal motherhood. I say this because for those who know me well, know I have been “bonus mom” for a while. It wasn’t my own motherhood though. Step-parenting is a temporary on and off when I am needed role. But I digress….In the beginning of my personal motherhood, I tried hard to have it all together. I clothed diapered. I packed up our 8 week old baby and all the necessary items to “camp” at my parents’ house so we didn’t miss our annual camp trip. I breastfed and pumped on my breaks at school. I coached cheerleading with my baby strapped to my chest. I cooked. Our house was cleanish. I taught first grade. I made homemade baby food. I hosted showers and a wedding in my home. I threw V a Pinterest like You are my Sunshine first birthday party.
And I somehow held it all together until a little while after her second farm themed birthday at Spicer’s Orchard. Oink. Moo. V turns 2!
Then slowly, but surely, little pieces of my sanity gave way. I became ridiculously stressed and depressed. I don’t even think we celebrated the third birthday. I wasn’t happy at work. I wasn’t happy much at all. I started reading all the articles about giving yourself grace and the “let’s be real, not perfect” slogans. I watched the funny videos like this one here and I began to let myself off of the hook of having anything together. I relaxed so much that I threw a lot of principles and values of health, time management, and family out of the window as my train stopped at Justification Station. I’m too tired. I’m spread too thin. I work too much. The house is too big. The schedule is too full. I AM A MOM AND I WORK FULL TIME!!! Isn’t that reason enough?
But as my mood started to fall and stay down too frequently, and my life seemed like overall chaos of rush, rush, repeat, I realized I needed to take back my motherhood and womanhood fast. And when I say I realized, I am talking like last week. Hehe. I am not talking about turning back into the perfect, planned out, Pinterest momma. I am talking about moving from survival mode into a place of balance.
So what is the one way to take it all back? Well I will be honest…It is different for everyone. But I think everyone can sum it up in one word–DISCIPLINE. In our house, that discipline means that this momma wakes up early. Like maybe only one robin is chirping and that is because he is asking the night owl to finally hit the hay. I don’t particularly like getting up early anymore. In fact, not one little part of me looks forward to that. I don’t want to. I want my bed. I like snooze. My covers are nice. Snuggling my hubby is better. My room is dark and cozy and I quite frankly don’t get to spend enough time in there.
But you know what else I don’t like?
I don’t like rushing out the door in the morning with an almost 5 year old crying because we didn’t have three minutes to snuggle.
I don’t like forgetting to put the milk in my hubby’s coffee or running out of time to pack myself a semi-healthy lunch.
I don’t like having 75 loads of laundry on the weekend or a list of Crockpot meals that never make it in the Crockpot before I leave so we are having grilled cheese or breakfast for dinner again.
I don’t like pulling into my parking spot two minutes before I have to be at work and missing the few moments to breathe in the fresh morning air as I walk into my classroom.
I don’t like a sink full of dishes when I come home after school.
I don’t like forgetting Sweet V’s T-ball gear or a snack so we can go to the Bonus’ baseball game.
I don’t like feeling my pants tight around my waist and snug shirts that used to feel flowy because I can’t find 20 minutes to walk on the treadmill or even outside.
I don’t like knowing that God made me for more and I am wasting it on the snooze button.
I know that when I wake up early, I set my mind on a mission and then I feel focused and accomplished before leaving for work or starting the weekend. The minutia gets tackled and I have my own personal time. This opens up my brain space and time in the day for the people I love, the unexpected life happenings, and to hear a little better who and what God wants me to focus my time on.
The only thing standing between Hot Mess Motherhood and having it somewhat together is Me, Myself, and I. My lack of self-discipline.
Self-discipline is defined as “the training and control of oneself and one’s conduct usually for personal improvement.” I can say that my life certainly needs a lot of improvement and I know that God has much more in store for me than digging through dirty laundry in the morning, running like a crazy woman all day, eating eggs for dinner again, and falling into bed only to repeat it all the next day. How can I find more of His peace, His goodness, and His joy when the day seems so chaotic? I’ll tell you how…get my big ole butt outta bed. Period. Plain and simple. No.more.excuses. Do I love that one-ish extra hour of sleep more than my family and the life God has planned for me? Heck no! So I am committing to myself, my family, and the Good Lord above to wake up without snooze. I will put my feet on the floor and start my day on time from now on so I have more time to devote to the things I love later and be more open to how God wants me to spend my day. (Someone please pull me out of bed and hold me to this. Please!!!!)
Please don’t think I am encouraging perfection. We all have our hot mess moments where we can’t cope for another minute. That is bound to happen in life. But let’s not linger there and turn our moments into habits.
So what about you? What is going to stop you from being a hot mess? Do you need to get off of Pinterest or other social media? Do you need to stop shopping online all day on the Facebook resell sites or Amazon for things you really don’t need? Do you need to meal plan or tackle a load of laundry every day? Do you need to stop micromanaging and entertaining your children every single day? Do you need to reign them in and give them structure and routine to be contributing members of your household? Do you need to wake up early with me? What do you need to do to make your house a more efficient home with more time for love?
No matter what it is, remember this….God wants you to live a life full of His peace and joy so you can help others find His peace and joy. Take Him with you in the hot mess moments and ask for His strength to do the one thing you need to do each day for balance and love.
Life is good. Michigan is great. Keep making your house a love filled home. High five for home!