It has been nearly a year since I purged my life down from 3200 square feet of living to just 1000 square feet. As I transitioned out of married life in a large home to co-parenting mom in an apartment, I left physical and emotional baggage behind and embraced a life of minimal living for maximum joy. Finding joy in each moment and looking around for all the opportunity to live life out loud was quite freeing in the beginning, and then….
And then, even my blessing became overwhelming. Even in this tiny dwelling, my Sweet V still has toys, clothing, and treasures overtaking her room.
We are surrounded by so many trails, parks, restaurants, cultural experiences, and beautiful people to participate in all of these places with. Before social media, I am not sure I would even know about half of them. But for some reason, now that I know, I feel as if I need to explore them and am missing out on life if I don’t.
I go to church and hear of organizations, volunteer opportunities, and read of nearby cities with deep needs so pressing and wonder how my Jesus heart can help with them all. After all, I have so much to give and when you are blessed, you are called to be a blessing.
And the storm stirs inside.
My blessings have overtaken me. I refuse to call them burdens. But I slowly slip back into a place of control and try to take it all into my own hands again. I put things on the calendar haphazardly. I go through the motions of my morning routine, inspired by podcasts of successful people doing it all. I check off the to-do list smiling with accomplishment, but at the end of the day, my stomach feels tight because something is missing in the midst of having and doing it all.
I forgot to let Jesus take the wheel.
In my rushed morning routine, I forgot to truly connect and reflect. I forgot to listen so close for His spirit to say, “Not that today, Kendra.” I forgot to respond when I knew I should have to that nagging reminder to take care of some priorities. I read the verse, said a generic prayer, and went on with my own plan for the day.
This summer has been packed with blessings.
Blessings of people and places.
Blessings of nature and beauty.
Blessings of a new job and new hope for my future.
The old me would have kept charging straight ahead with my own plan. But this new me…this one who recognizes the storm…she has learned to turn to the One who calms the storm before it becomes the hurricane of mental and spiritual destruction in my mind, body, and spirit.
I would be lying if I said all those lovely things I have blogged about made my life perfect.
They haven’t. But caring for my mind, body, and spirit has pushed me toward my potential. It’s given me a strength to distinguish the moment when it’s time to stop, breathe, rest, and listen to where my time, talent, and treasure are best spent. So the next few days I will do just that. Listen and listen well.
Are you rocking out life right now or do you need a reboot? My good friend always reminds me that we cannot pour from an empty cup. Remember, if we are out of balance, in our mind, body, or spirit, it is hard to spread the love we were designed to give.
Summer is good. Taking it on with balance is great! Stop and breathe for a moment. Listen to the breeze through your window tonight and make one change tomorrow that will help you to keep making your house a love filled home.
High five for home!