5 Essential Technology Rules for Teens: Lessons from 20 Years in Education

After spending two decades in public education, I’ve learned valuable lessons—not just from teaching, but from my students themselves. After teaching developmental kindergarten through 8^th grade, I have identified 5 essential technology rules for teens that I stick to in my home.

1. Set Parental Controls on Devices

The majority of middle school drama stems from texting and social media. It’s shocking how many children have unrestricted access to the internet without any parental oversight. In my experience teaching hundreds of middle schoolers over the past five years, only a handful had parental controls in place.

In our home, my daughter’s devices lock at 9 PM. While she may dislike it, this ensures she gets the rest her growing brain and body need. Additionally:

• Her phone does not have internet access.
• Her iPad has strict browsing controls.
• I periodically review her phone and text history.

Yes, kids are resourceful and may find ways to bypass restrictions, but why hand them unfiltered access to the entire internet in the first place?

2. No Screens in the Bedroom

This ties into parental controls, but deserves its own emphasis. I’ve witnessed students—ranging from kindergartners to middle schoolers—struggle due to late-night screen use. Some five-year-olds tell me they stay up playing Five Nights at Freddy’s, while teenagers admit to binge-watching shows like Ginny & Georgia, You, and Never Have I Ever until 2 AM. The themes in many of these shows are quite heavy for impressionable teens to be watching alone at night.

Lack of sleep directly impacts their focus, mood, and academic performance. In our home:

• Devices are charged in the living room overnight.
• There is no TV in my daughter’s bedroom.
• The iPad is used in common spaces.
• She wakes up using a traditional alarm clock.

3. No Social Media

Being a teenager is challenging enough without the added pressures of social media. My students frequently talk about the following consequences of being online.

• Fear of missing out (FOMO)
• Cyberbullying
• Body image struggles
• Social pressure and anxiety
• Addiction
• Exposure to porn and self-harm content

Additionally, what teens post online can have long-term consequences. With underdeveloped judgment, they may share content that could damage their future opportunities. Even as an adult, I sometimes regret past social media posts. I don’t want my daughter dealing with those same regrets while still figuring out who she is.

4. Talk to Your Kids—A Lot

Teens have opinions, ideas, and emotions that deserve to be heard. They need encouragement for their great ideas and guidance to correct misconceptions. If we don’t have the loudest voice in their lives, their peers and the internet will.

Ongoing conversations about technology, online safety, and life in general help shape their perspectives. Keep communication open and honest. Life seems to be moving at warp speed when raising our kids, but more than anything our teens need to have time to talk with us.

5. Lead by Example

Our actions are louder than our words. It will always remain true. The amount of time we spend staring at our own glowing rectangles is very impactful on how our children will decide to spend their time. What we feed our eyes and ears online as parents shapes how we show up for our kids. It distracts us in the moment and robs us of true connections with our family.

Technology isn’t inherently bad, but it requires balance. Prioritizing real-life connections over endless scrolling fosters a healthier family dynamic.

It’s Never Too Late to Set Boundaries

Our family’s technology rules may seem strict to some, but childhood is fleeting. Soon, our kids will be 18 and making their own decisions. A steady diet of gaming, TikTok, YouTube, and texting won’t set them up for success—regardless of what their peers are doing.

We need more parents to stand up and not fall to parenting peer pressure. As a teacher who has heard and seen things from teens that I know they are not processing well, I am here to tell you that you don’t have to allow your kids technological freedom.

Here’s your reminder that even if you have been very lenient with technology to this point, you can make changes going forward. It may be hard at the beginning, but making some of these essential rules will be worth it for the health and safety of your kids and the kids around them.

Remember, your children can’t unsee and unhear what they consume online. It’s our job to protect them so they learn to protect themselves in the future.

 

Have you implemented any of these key rules in your home? Share your thoughts in the comments!