I have always been a dreamer. Ever since I could remember, I have been in one moment but thinking about the next one and picturing it to be better even if the present moment was great. It is a bit crippling at times and I have failed to be present and enjoy way too many moments.
Some of my many dreams include staying home, starting a nonprofit, helfping families who really want to homeschool but think they can’t, starting an educational center that is nothing like traditional public school, oh and one more…MOVE OUT OF THE SNOW!!!! I have been dreaming of moving south for so long. Blame it on social media. Blame on travel magazines. Blame it on my parents who spoiled me by taking me to Florida for spring break every year. No matter who or what I blame, I have had a plan to leave this sun forsaken state that looks like a mitten and implies cold. I have a Pinterest board devoted to my favorite states and places I want to live. Realtor.com and Livability.com and I are Friday night friends. The amount of time I have wasted pouting about why I am not packing, looking for out of state jobs or otherwise already living in my new sunshine happiness with community pool is just that…a total waste. I am not saying it is wasteful to dream. The Bible says a lot about having goals and dreams, but when our dreams outshine our current reality to the point we can’t find any happiness where we are, then my friend (who I happen to be looking at in the mirror) that means it is time for a heart check.
The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. And the poet, Langston Hughes asks the question, “What happens to a dream deferred?” Both reference a sickness. A festering sore. And that is exactly what was happening to me. My deferred hopes and dreams were making me miss the beauty in my current moment. When you are married or a parent, the dreams you dream need to benefit far more than self, and the time you have to devote to anything at all is a precious commodity. So if I wanted my home to be happy, I needed to start to focus my thinking and time where it mattered most….the moment before me in the place God had planted my feet right here in Michigan. My time needed to be spent wisely in pursuit of the dreams God wanted me to focus on right now, not later. For me that is a strong and healthy family, and teaching and loving on the big and little people He has put in my everyday life. These dreams are tangible right now. These fulfilled dreams are becoming a tree of life for me and my family and the sun that shines through the Michigan clouds..
In part 2, I will tell about how I am learning (notice I said learning) to change my pouting to planting. It’s not easy at all for a person like me and I struggle daily. But there is no growth without change and I know God is changing me into someone better than I was yesterday. No more pouting. Fulfill the dream of today. High five for home!
Have you been spending too many moments pouting instead of planting? Have you already overcome this obstacle in your life? Encourage someone (or me) in the comments.
Michigan sunset at Empire Beach
Kendra is a full time elementary teacher and mommy to a sweet and sassy 7 year old. She poured her heart and soul into her classroom and earning her graduate degree before becoming a mom and has spent motherhood trying to find a way to balance career and home and appreciate the journey while doing it. She’s a lake loving, ranch on pizza, pop can recycling, map on her hand Michigan girl! This momma never learned how to play euchre, but you can find her making a pretty long list, reading a book, or planning her next adventure in America’s high five! High five for home!
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Oh, Kendra, you know this post resonates with me! While I do try to focus on the positive and stay in the present, it can be hard. I too want to be in a warmer climate. 🙂 It’s good to dream, but not at the expense (as you muse here) of being happy in the present. I am starting to make some plans to make some change. And that is good.
Kendra, what an amazing post about Pouting or Planting. I’m thinking this is an area that we have in common. I have been a pouter my entire life. Always being in one moment but thinking about the next and wishing it to be better. Always unhappy in a current situation and anticipating the next only to find myself unhappy in the next situation and anticipating the next. A very damaging and unfulfilling cycle to find ones self in. This was my life. I believe, as a mom, that the ‘pouting’ can also be ‘planting’. Planting the same ‘pouting spirit’ in my children not realizing how damaging it was not just for me but for them. I was asking them to carry a burden that wasn’t theirs to carry. I wanted a better way of thinking for my babies. I’m very thankful and grateful I serve a loving and forgiving Father and my children forgave me with love and grace. He has truly brought me to a place in my life where I can say I’m in the real, Christ centered, unconditional, peaceful, loving ‘Planting’ stage. Planting and pouring unconditional, endless peace and love into my kiddos and now my grand babies. Being grateful in my current situations and dream of a bright future for me and my family. Thank you Kendra for sharing your heart on Pouting or Planting. Your blog has truly been an inspiration. Keep showing your readers your beautiful heart. ❤️❤️
Kendra! Thank you for being so open and transparent. You are a beautiful and incredible daughter of God. His wisdom and compassion is bright in you and through you. Keep on being you! And sharing your heart!!